Broken Hearted Beloved

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My beloved broke her heart today,
For how many times? 
I don't know the count.
She never tells me.
She will stay silent now.
She wants to escape.
She feels like dying, dying, dying. (false alarm)

She will never speak to anyone. (false alarm)
Not even to me. (kind of false alarm)
I am a nobody to her. (Not a false alarm!)
She is my beloved. But I am not hers.

July 8th: she realized it was all an Illusion

Her beloved had a flute.
And she followed the tune.
Now, she is sinking in a dune.

My beloved!
O my godsend beloved!
Stay alive! (she will, whether I pray or not)
This stupid scribe needs you! 
Not for love. It can go to hell.
For your company. This is all I ask!
To sit beside you. 
And ask you silly questions.
To doodle with you.
Noodles of emotion will flicker Once or twice. 
I will let it die and
Continue our conversation. 

Until my death ...

*
July 14th: she unblocked me. Why block me in the first place? 
July 15th: because she told me to shut up. Stop messaging. But I kept sending messages. She got annoyed. And then blocked me. Then unblocked me the next day. But I Deleted the app thinking she meant what she said and kept her emailing. My mail ran her phone storage out. This made her more angry. She sent me emails to come back to the app. I did. We continued our "Whatever this is" 

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